I want to talk to you about a form of bondage that I have witnessed. It is a wickedness that disguises itself in a cloak of altruism.
We are all familiar with the wickedness of using someone. This is where a person holds him or herself out as someone he or she is not in order to become close to and take advantage of another human being, absconding with everything that isn’t nailed down, whether by theft or manipulation.
The wickedness that I want to speak with you about, which leads to bondage and cursing, is the reverse of someone taking physical items from a person to the point of depletion. However, it is a form of using. The means of your being taken advantage of are so subtle, you could be in bondage for years before you realize it.
This wickedness that I speak of is where a person of means uses the people around them for their time and companionship. He or she will draw the person close with sweet words, extensive flattery, gentle caresses (depending on how bad they want you, and how effective they believe touch is for you), and wild offers of material goods, which they hope you cannot possibly refuse.
Then, one day, when you wake up and want to break free, you will find that you can’t. You pull and pull and struggle and struggle against the force that ties you to them. For those who finally do manage to break free, their breaking free is seen as a betrayal of the worst kind. They will find themselves snarled at, openly cursed, and they will witness the gnashing of the teeth.
When people gnash their teeth at you, they are separated from God. Luke 13:28.
These people know people. They have watched people. And, they know money is the great equalizer. The patterns of human behavior are predictable. If someone offers one something, even if intuition tells one that it has come too easily and may be wrong, if one thinks strongly about it, ruminating on it, one begins to rationalize it.
We rationalize why we should have that thing, why it is for us, why we deserve it.
Feeling that one “deserves” anything is a dangerous proposition and it is where most go wrong and fall into sin.
Thinking we deserve anything but hell and death is the “stinkin’ thinkin’” of entitlement. One does not even deserve the kingdom of heaven, but it is given by grace through faith and not of works, so that no man can boast. Ephesians 2:8.
How do we no longer rationalize what is bad for us, gliding down the path toward “stinkin’ thinkin’?” We have to be transformed by the renewing of our minds, meditating on the word of God. Romans 12:2. When you meditate on the word of God, renewing your mind, you are better able to see what the will of God is. You are better able to see that which is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:2.
The bible says keep your mind stayed on what is true, what is honorable, what is right, what is pure, what is lovely, what is of good reputation. Philippians 4:8.
Do not trust your heart and its desires. Do not trust your heart telling you what it thinks it deserves. The bible says the heart is wicked and deceitful above all things, who can know it? Jeremiah 17:9.
Many people would feel honored to have a person of means seemingly fawning all over them. It is like being invited to the king’s table. However, the bible has strong words about being invited to the king’s table. You must keep your wits about you and partake sparingly, lest the king despise you. “When you sit down to dine with a ruler, consider carefully what is before you, and put a knife to your throat if you are a man of great appetite. Do not desire his delicacies, for it is deceptive food. Proverbs 23:1-3.
So, we have established that these people of means trap you, by inviting you in and dangling pseudo-altruism in the form of flattery and helps. But, be aware of those who carry flattering lips and a lying tongue. Proverbs 26:28.
In order to avoid the trap, you must know who you are, and WHOSE you are. I declare, “I am a child of the most high God. I belong to Abba, Father. Through grace I was saved when I came under the sacrificial blood of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.”
You must know deep down, on the inside of you, that God is your Source. When you “get” that God is your source, you do not “need” anything from man. You might “want” a thing, but you do not “need” it.
God will supply all (not some, but ALL) your NEEDS (not your wants, but your NEEDS) according to HIS riches and HIS glory. Philippians 4:19.
You can avoid the trap of the wealthy man, when you get it deep on the inside of you that the wealthy man does not validate you and he is not your source. You have been validated and justified through faith. Romans 5:1.
I believe this bondage is rooted in greed and entitlement on the part of the recipient. And, it is rooted in loneliness, fear of abandonment, and fear of isolation on the part of the one pulling the recipient in close.
Ultimately, the one who places others in bondage does not trust people. So, the main root of bondage seeking behavior is distrust. They say to themselves….I don’t trust that you can love me without my things, my money, or my flattery. I don’t trust that you can love me for me. I don’t trust that your love is sustainable. I don’t trust that you will remain with me. I don’t trust that you will never leave me. Then, the roots of loneliness, fear of abandonment, and fear of isolation branch out from the main, thick root of distrust.
Fear Fear Fear
Loneliness Abandonment Isolation
So, like a serial killer who eats his victims to remain close to them, this person pulls people in close and tight, using material possessions and flattery to keep them closer than a brother. But, unlike the relationship with a brother, which is a relationship based in phileo love (where we get the word “Philadelphia”), a friendly love or attachment, this is an artificial relationship and it is a relationship that is not rooted in love. This is a relationship based in hate. The rich man (or woman) will hate you when you go. And, they will curse you for leaving.
Biblically, love never fails, but everything else will cease. I Corinthians 13:8.
Look at love… love is patient. Love is kind and is not jealous. Love does not brag and is not arrogant. Love does not act unbecomingly. Love does not seek its own, is not provoked, and does not take into account wrong suffered. Love does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices in truth. Love stands under pressure. Loves believes. Love hopes. Love endures with longsuffering. I Corinthians 13:4-7. If you see the antithesis of these things in a person professing flattery, sweet nothings, and acting as though they are your “source,” please know that this person is not acting in love. And, if God is love, they are not coming from a place of God. 1 John 4:8.
Now, some of you are in ministry and have been called to work with this population. If that is the case, remember to maintain your boundaries, first and foremost. These types of people are used to overrunning the boundaries of others in a major way.
Second, and there is psychological research on this, you are to, in a very deliberate fashion, allow them to attach to you. THIS WILL FEEL VERY UNCOMFORTABLE FOR THOSE WHO WALK IN THE PROPHETIC AND STRONG DISCERNMENT.
After you pace them psychologically, establishing a relationship built on love, trust, and boundaries, you are to begin hooking them into God. The research calls you “good enough object,” and God, “Perfect Object.”
This is a tool used to help those with psychological attachment issues. Hook them into you…. consistent, love, trust, boundaries. Then, hook them into God… Perfect Object.
This work with one individual can take years and is not for the faint at heart. However, we have to be “boots on the ground,” so that in the end we will hear, “Well done, my good and faithful servant.” Matthew 25:23.
Got it? Good.
Now, parachute in, put your boots on the ground, and get to work.
by C. Blue